So, after a few months of flailing around with too many emotions. I felt a slight lift.
I have been struggling with the left over emotions of the last few years. Things that I had let fester instead of fully expressing them. I had slipped on my disciplines, and quite frankly I was too scared to get in touch with my teacher.
Being in a relationship in this state is hardly fun and games. Dealing with an overwhelm of difficult emotions made me crabby and short tempered.
I preferred to sit in my garage and drink a beer than to try and connect with my partner.
Being at the level I am of my practice. I was capable of seeing that I was struggling. I was also able to see that despite not being so hot on my disciplines, emotions would still come up when I did a bit of extra work on myself.
I was however in “Monster” mode. Judging, predicting and labelling no end.
It’s a difficult spot to be in, but it’s encouraged me to make some observations about “fire chi”.
It’s basically the driving forward energy, it governs things like lust and anger. It feels great when it is running high though. We feel high, we feel energised. With all things on the spiritual path though, we are looking for a state of balance.
I can’t say what happened to make me feel that lift I spoke about. I think I may have done some disciplines I was taught for raising the fire chi. Also, here it’s worth mentioning that just moving, physical effort, dancing, playing, singing can all help improve the flow of fire chi. This is why a sedentary life, can lead to depression. There’s not enough activity!
So, having raised the fire chi in my self, I am reminded what can happen when we get to the other end of the spectrum and there is too much fire chi. First we are out of balance… we need also to work on our water chi.
Excessive fire chi can make us feel “un-grounded”. What I notice when I get like this is my mind becomes agitated and super busy.
To remedy this we must “ground” our energy.
This we can do in a couple of ways. Most simple is to spend some time walking barefoot, preferably outside in nature.
One of the best ways I have found is by taking a long deep sensual sigh. This tends to unlock the water chi in our sacral area. Do this a few times. My teacher said sigh like you've just had a great orgasm! You should feel a little tingle in the soles of your feet if you do this properly…. That’s the water chi flowing out into the ground!
Even cuddling a pet or a loved one can help as it stimulates the nurturing water chi within ourselves.
We are always aiming for balance like I said. Although an abundance of fire chi can feel great, it can easily turn into a frustrated energy. This can lead to anger eruptions and an uncomfortable state of “horniness”.
So to sum up… balance, balance, balance… In all things. A lot of us expect the spiritual path to lead us to a perpetual state of joy. This is not balance. Life is meant to test us and we need to face the range of experiences and emotions and come back to, yep you guessed it… Balance!
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